Confessions of a single mom are continuous, our work is never done. But please don’t confuse this blog to be a whine. I ain’t got time for gossiping, whining or the pity party. This is just one of many confessions of being a single mom and how I coped with an injury in this tough time to support me as a single mom be stronger through it.
When superwoman’s out-Confessions of a single mom
Oh no mamas down, superwoman’s out, what are we going to do?
You may not feel like superwoman but believe me you freaking are.
How do we manage?
Hopefully you’ve got a great partner who supports you in pregnancy and in your other vulnerable times, especially when your super power mum maker, needs recharged.
However it can be triple tough if you’re a single parent like myself and extra challenging if your partner doesn’t support you, when your down and just need to rest.
Illness, injuries, our kids getting sick. These can really knock us off life’s wave and we need to reach out and remember our mum olive branch in these times.
Whats the confession mom?
So I came flying off my bike going down a hill hitting autumn leaves and the front wheel literally turning sideways.
Apart from flying that day and not letting go of the handlebars (note to self). I also smacked my shin off the pedal, seriously hurting it and putting a hole in it.
It was round the corner from the school and confessions of a single mom, which I don’t think will surprise many of you is, we’ve never got enough time!
I looked at the time as I wiped the mud that had managed to smear in my hair, hands, and inside my arm jacket. Was looking rather sexy indeed ladies.
My lower body quadrant rattled with shock as I locked the damaged bike up and carried the scooter hobbling to school thinking ah that really hurts. I had no idea of the hole at this point, as I really didn’t have time to entertain the poor me pity party with only 5 minutes to spare before school was out.
It was only when we got to the skatepark and I had time to assess the damage that I realised the extent of the injury.
“Wow mum I can see your bone”
as I nursed it in the bath later that night, putting salt into it and trying my best not to scream in agony with a might FUCK that’s hurts.
I knew I should have gone to hospital for stitches, but unless i’m not breathing, I ain’t going anywhere near a hospital just now given the covid chaos we are currently in.
Added to injury, maybe a lecture to insult my internal rant further, I’d landed on my left hip. That much so, I couldn’t put any weight on it or clothes on, without tensing up.
One day I accidentally knocked it against the door and threw up, as a reflex to the pain.
Confessions of a single mom-How to help heal better
Our thoughts are the building blocks of our bodies reaction.
If we tell ourselves we cant do it we cant. It’s that simple.
How we can help to calm the minds internal freak outs is to breathe.
Breathe out, breathe, you’re fine, my internal voice coached.
Flexible, feisty, energetic, content, is my norm, but for this 3 week period, I admittedly confess I turned into a misery of a mama.
Wow did I notice how hard life can get, but at the same time I felt and was grateful for it being temporary.
It was a great reminder at how fortunate I am to have a healthy body.
Activities never stop with kids
But life goes on huh, school run, people are similar, routines same, daily activities that need to be done, are endless.
It was a tough 3 weeks because i’m a single mum, plus lockdown. I could ask for help, but it doesn’t work if it’s not at home.
Double whammy!
Simple enjoyable daily tasks like to read at night, felt like a chore. Carrying a bike up the stairs filled me with fear.
Seb doing a tail whip right next to me sent my front body to curl in. Making beds was a challenge, opening a door was a tactile task. The thought of anything or anyone being half a meter near my front body encouraged retreat.
Leave me alone, i’ll be fine in a few weeks.
But this attitude doesn’t often gel well, with a 5 year old, whose ability too empathise with others needs is growing, however still clearly lacking, at such a fruitful, fabulous, fun age of adventure.
“Come on mum, let’s have a cuddle on the couch”
“Let’s wrestle”
Simple treasures, were completely out for a month and mega early nights with longer lies were necessary, so I could heal faster.
Not being able to practice yoga first thing in the morning for a month, stiffened my body up further.
Attending to the wound, sorry hole, with a salt bath every couple of days for 21 days, pouring tee tree in it, before putting a fresh band aid on, was essential for infection free healing.
Seb, my 5 year old at the time and the surgeon in the house, assessed its replaster’ing progress with,
“Wow mum, thats a really big hole you’ve got there. But I think it’s getting better, because I can’t see the bone anymore!”
And trying my hardest to stay light through the
“arghhhh, watch my leg”
was testing.
Sneak peak into lightening single moms load
I read this beautiful article 18 single mom survival tips which is really useful for general life for single moms.
However how to cope when you’re injured and under covid restrictions is a bit trickier.
Prioritising and limiting unnecessary tasks is vital.
Of course a big strapping man to give a hand, just for a few weeks, would have been greatly appreciated.
But life doesn’t work like this unfortunately, as a dear friend reminds me
“You cant have the butter and the money for the butter”
and I knew I had to
Put my big pants on, however sore I was and suck it up. Mama you’ve got this.
The family links in the city are interrupted just now, as is for most single parents who are in lockdown.
Being kind and loving with my ‘fuck me that hurts’ thoughts, was necessary, but confession, very challenging.
Positive mental thinking, self care, self soothing speech towards our self, is crucial as moms.
Love starts with self love which are formed from working towards good mental habits
“Look after yourself”
“Go to bed earlier sweetheart”
“It’s getting better, it’ll just take time”
Reminding myself every night with these gentle thoughtful kind words towards myself, when doing a gratitude meditation, helped my body cope better with this experience.
This is temporary
By changing our thoughts towards a temporary state, it can encourage a lightness from within that can shine out.
Thank you for these lessons and the awareness it is bringing me.